Writing… January 7, 2009
Posted by eternalwriter in English, Français, blurb, overflow, professional procrastinating.6 comments
In his last post, my friend Cavalier (in French!) said something about writing, the kind of writing that sometimes escapes, sometimes goes in ways we had not expected. It got me thinking.
Lately I have been both very inspired and very frustrated with my writing. In fact, so much is happening, which I just can’t seem to write about.
I hope that someday, someone will explain how come I seem to always end up with anonymous blogs where I just cant’t talk about my life in precise terms.
Maybe it’s just not how I write… Maybe even if I could talk, I would leave the details out. It appears I cannot find a middle ground betweens words that sound like the lightest touch ever, and words that feel like getting hit with a snow shovel in the head.
Oh well…
—————
Et ça me fait penser que le langage le plus cru c’est peut-être pas celui qu’on croit; peut-être, oui, que c’est plutôt celui qui décharne et qui serpente, qui se déchire de ne rien dire et de tout dire en même temps,
comme la tempête de neige qui sévit derrière la fenêtre,
comme une session qui commence et dont on a oublié de se préoccuper,
tout en même temps ou rien du tout, un détritus d’ascenseur, un chèque qu’on a oublié d’encaisser,
merde je voudrais tellement, tellement vous dire que…
(À suivre, peut-être / To be continued, or not)
Dans les bulles du champagne January 1, 2009
Posted by eternalwriter in Français, overflow.add a comment
Bientôt, il y aura l’urgence de recommencer à travailler. Bientôt ou plutôt, bien assez tôt.
Il me semble que dans la vie, j’aurais dû être : a) ou bien une femme super sérieuse du genre hyperperformante, à son affaire (comme dans : équilibrée, oui), enfin le genre avec des priorités dans la vie, quoi; b) ou bien une artiste sans domicile fixe et vaguement droguée, possédant des millions «d’amis» qui habitent dans des lofts à New York et qui ont toujours l’air d’être en train de performer pour le Cirque du soleil même quand ils boivent leur café du matin.
Et puis je ne suis ni l’une ni l’autre mais un peu et il faut dire que ça cohabite mal tout ça, ça tiraille de partout.
Mais vous savez quoi? Je pense que je viens de définir, très exactement d’ailleurs, de quelles contradictions est faite la vie universitaire.
Winter… December 12, 2008
Posted by eternalwriter in English, overflow, professional procrastinating.add a comment
… it is a sleeping fire in the womb.
And this is only my second cup of red wine.
And the music is not even excruciating yet.
It is my rescinded resolve, disjunct from the body’s movement toward illicit warmth.
Maybe I can back up — no, not winter, not yet, no snow no Christmas parties no — well, dear, maybe you should have thought of that before you took a bite of the infamous apple.
Preparing the last two classes is a torture. But winter is much worse.
Sweet. And worse.
Leaving Chicago November 4, 2008
Posted by eternalwriter in Academic conferences are it, English, overflow.2 comments
I could have chosen a number of other titles for this post: “The End of the Conference“, “Being Tired and Having Grading To Do“, but… but the fact of the matter is, I was leaving Chicago this morning at the end of a three-day conference, and this is what will stick with me.
My hotel was right in front of THE park, i.e., the park where Obama will be appearing tonight and where they are waiting for what could be up to a million people (or so they say). Streets had been closed since yesterday and, afraid that I never would be able to get out of town, I took my cab at six in the morning to get to the airport.
I wish I could have stayed, though: the excitement was palpable everywhere.
I had never been to Chicago and, except for its mad drivers, I must say I enjoyed it. In fact, my taxi driver from the hotel to the airport drove so fast that, for a brief moment — all the while trying not to have a heart attack from the fright — I considered that it would be faster that he drive me all the way back to Canada rather than take the plane. Hehe.
I do not really know what happened, over these three days. Just your usual academic conference, I guess: great papers, nice people, and, of course… way too much booze.
My head is still spinning from the numerous conversations, some clear-headed, some delirious, and once again, I can’t help but feel extremely lucky to be doing what I do.
Here’s to leaving Chicago!
______________
* Next-day edit: I went to sleep too early to see Obama’s speech last night, but now that I’ve seen it, I have only one thing to say: Whoa! Congratulations, America.
Days of Fall, Falling Days October 16, 2008
Posted by eternalwriter in English, Fall, overflow.3 comments
Well the leaves are red and yellow and orange, here.
The cats are getting sleepy, and firewood is being stored in houses in view of the coming winter.
It will, again, be a whirlwind of a month, and I am quite excited not to know how it will turn out.
Coming this month are a bunch of new things I’ve never tried: participating in a public debate, giving a one-day formative session for professionals, and serving as an evaluator in a conference. Notwithstanding my four courses per week, of course. Woohoo!
I am holding on to this, to all of this: the Fall, the new stuff, the work overload — because, well, I just know it probably cannot get any better in the kind of job I have. I feel blessed. Lucky.
Each red leaf I pick up from the ground is a sleepless night in strange arms. And the dictionaries and phone books and novels that hold them bear witness to this long, long season spent running around after my shadow.
