Writing… January 7, 2009
Posted by eternalwriter in English, Français, blurb, overflow, professional procrastinating.6 comments
In his last post, my friend Cavalier (in French!) said something about writing, the kind of writing that sometimes escapes, sometimes goes in ways we had not expected. It got me thinking.
Lately I have been both very inspired and very frustrated with my writing. In fact, so much is happening, which I just can’t seem to write about.
I hope that someday, someone will explain how come I seem to always end up with anonymous blogs where I just cant’t talk about my life in precise terms.
Maybe it’s just not how I write… Maybe even if I could talk, I would leave the details out. It appears I cannot find a middle ground betweens words that sound like the lightest touch ever, and words that feel like getting hit with a snow shovel in the head.
Oh well…
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Et ça me fait penser que le langage le plus cru c’est peut-être pas celui qu’on croit; peut-être, oui, que c’est plutôt celui qui décharne et qui serpente, qui se déchire de ne rien dire et de tout dire en même temps,
comme la tempête de neige qui sévit derrière la fenêtre,
comme une session qui commence et dont on a oublié de se préoccuper,
tout en même temps ou rien du tout, un détritus d’ascenseur, un chèque qu’on a oublié d’encaisser,
merde je voudrais tellement, tellement vous dire que…
(À suivre, peut-être / To be continued, or not)
Winter… December 12, 2008
Posted by eternalwriter in English, overflow, professional procrastinating.add a comment
… it is a sleeping fire in the womb.
And this is only my second cup of red wine.
And the music is not even excruciating yet.
It is my rescinded resolve, disjunct from the body’s movement toward illicit warmth.
Maybe I can back up — no, not winter, not yet, no snow no Christmas parties no — well, dear, maybe you should have thought of that before you took a bite of the infamous apple.
Preparing the last two classes is a torture. But winter is much worse.
Sweet. And worse.
Trying not to get poetic November 9, 2008
Posted by eternalwriter in English, Fall, new life, professional procrastinating.3 comments
Of course this is a blank page day, with me in it — a Sunday –, desperately trying not to write about the messy mushy stuff inside.
I quit. I will write.
My poetry is always about somewhere else — and it always refers
to another of you
Something I cannot afford
And silence, like ten thousand deleted files the only reward
Not knowing if this is
clodded dirty memory or some kind of
okay, nice and shiny souvenir
Unpublished, yet too public
Never got a hold of it — that — you
You thing, you body, you fleeing creature
And why now, why the void kiss
and all your words about Fall
I have been meaning to tell you to go away
You thing, you, creature,
Go away you almost killed me once (so good, so good)
All this
undeleted happiness
Getting the better of me.
The countdown has begun — but to no avail… August 13, 2008
Posted by eternalwriter in English, blurb, professional procrastinating.2 comments
Yes, I am talking about the countdown to the first day of the semester. Suddenly, everything is urgent — or should be.
Because in fact, yours truly is not working enough, considering the urgency. Not near enough. I’m not even making lists, in case I might then remember something I had forgotten I had to do in the next two-three weeks.
Well, just so you know (and here, magically, my list appears):
- prepare four courses (new ones, which means I’ve never taught them before). Course packages (nor syllabi!) are not even close to finished;
- put together first-year evaluation dossier: half-done;
- finish grading one final exam turned in late from two months ago (I don’t even remember the questions I asked in said exam);
- torture myself as to whether I will do a grant proposal, but since I have no choice, torture myself about what in the world will be the topic my grant proposal;
- contact two of my colleagues and prepare a special one-day course for professionals; in order to do so, contact the Collective Services at my university in order to understand how the heck these things work;
- read a book and write a review for a journal;
- take care of an academic journal in need of new publisher;
- evaluate one PhD paper;
- evaluate one article for academic publication;
- think about maybe writing a new article myself (…);
- meet with grad students.
Actually, I have had this list for the whole summer.
But I’ve become really, really good at online Boggle-like word games.
Really good.
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